It seems as if the grass turned green overnight.  The snow melted, rains poured down, and then the sun shone for a few brief hours; and voila!  The grass is green again.   The western tamarack, or larch trees, are the only coniferous tree to lose its needles in the fall, remain bare in the winter, and then grow new needles in the spring.  Right now these larches have the most incredibly bright new green needles exploding all over them.  Our trash cans continue to be knocked down, with trash spread everywhere in the morning; a sure sign that bears have woken up again and are out searching for nourishment.  It seems so effortless to watch these transformations take place.  These changes are often welcomed by those of us who live in the white wintery cold for 9 months out of the year.  It seems that when the conditions are just right, change happens naturally, without anything but its inherent force to move it forward into a new state of being.
    
For a long time I saw change as taking extreme effort, a push of my will power, an act of self-discipline in order to bring about a new way of being or a new phase of my life.  I’m not so sure now.  Change seems to unfold inherently and without a lot of external pressure.  Transformations seem to know when to occur; when the environment is ripe for it.  As this spring season unveils her mysteries, perhaps I am just ready to see the beauty in allowing change to happen in its own time. Perhaps what I am beginning to see more clearly is my capacity for being sensitive and aware to when the environment is right for change to occur in.
    
When the snow has melted and the sun has shined, the grass is compelled to act, to grow. When the environment is ripe for change I too become compelled to act; it somehow becomes almost a responsibility to answer the call of the change that is inherently taking place.   While change seems to happens regardless of whether I act or not (I keep finding more and more gray hairs each year!), I do recognize that with divine action (action from a deep place of knowing how to act) I can influence the direction or type of change that occurs.  In many ways it becomes my choice of how I want to influence what is inherently unfolding in front of me.  I may not be able to stop the change that is coming but I can help gently guide the direction of the change.  Or I can ignore it, or try to make it be something other than it is.  These ways of being seem to have had disastrous effects on my life, tugging me out of alignment with what creates contentment and happiness in my life.
    
Sita is one of the many energies in yoga that takes her shape in the form of a goddess.  Sita’s energy requires a full embrace of the passivity of change.  She is receptive and open and unattached to any outcome of change.  She is allowing and open and deeply loving.  I used to rebuke Sita.  I saw her as weak, as passive, as an energy that gets walked all over.  I could not understand how a strong woman would allow herself to be treated in ways that seems to dis-empower her.  I knew nothing.
    
Sita’s energy, I am finding, is one of the strongest types of feminine energy in our world.  She teaches us about the deep well of love that takes form in receptivity and passivity.  She teaches us to allow our environment to move and change as it will, bending to it, bowing to it, and surrendering to it.  In this way she asks for a sacrifice of small self ego; of any personal desires and wishes that are not in alignment with my highest good..  She asks for an alignment to the larger picture, beyond what humans can even conceptualize.  She asks for us to trust in the power of sacrifice, whether or not we see or experience an outcome from the sacrifice that we hope for.   
    
How do these thoughts and concepts play out in actual life?  Well, in as many ways as you can imagine! One of the recent ways it is playing out in my life has to do with a re-birthing of a part of myself that I put aside four years ago.   I have been in retreat from my roots of yoga.  I have wandered away from my daily practice.  I have lost connection with my sangha. I abandoned my students and stepped away from teaching.  I let a part of me die as other parts were coming into being and seemed to need more room, energy, and attention to manifest.  I have recently begun to sense that the environment is ripe for my return to my roots. I feel a longing to be on my mat again; a longing for the silence of deep meditation; for the light of my teacher and community; and for the waves of gratitude that come with being in the service of teaching.  I am naturally, with effortless effort, integrating all I have experienced and cultivated over the past four years back into my spiritual roots of yoga.  As this transformation takes place I am being mindful to allow Sita to speak through me; to all my transformation home to occur without an attachment to how home looks like after years of being away.  And I am gently reminded that four years, in the cosmic sense, is a tiny little blip.

How are you inherently changing and growing?  What is beginning to blossom for you this spring?  And, perhaps even more importantly, what are you sensing is ripe for change but are  afraid to move towards?   What would it be like to let your Sita shine; to allow without attachment; to grow from the inside out?

​Stayed tuned for more of these meandering thoughts, video posts on yogic stories, and dates for workshops.

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If you have ever taken a yoga class then you have most likely either seen an image of or heard the name, Ganesha.  Ganesha, Lord of Yoga, tends to be the first deity to present himself to new students of yoga.  He shows up for those practiced in yoga too, as a gentle reminder of how to approach the obstacles in our lives.  He is a powerful, yet gentle, compassionate, and wise energy.  Ganesha guides us back into the heart of who we each are, which is where the answers to all of our questions lie.

Click below to listen to the story of how Ganesha came to be known as The Remover of Obstacles.  

It was 9:58 am.  My free workshop on yoga therapy was to begin in 2 minutes.  I looked around the room and saw...space.  Emptiness.  The room itself was beautiful; real wood floors, thriving plants, soft paint colors, many large windows that let in lots of natural light.  But the room was empty of people.  I tried to keep my mind from wondering to what I would do with an unexpected two free hours.  I looked at the clock again.  9:59 am.  I sighed.  About to resign to a failed attempt to bring yoga therapy to my new community, I started to pack up my things.  Just as I was going over the self-deprecating list of what I had done wrong, or what I could have done better to pull people into the workshop, I heard the front door open.

Laughter met me at the door before I even saw who entered.  With thirty seconds to go before the start of the workshop three people came bustling in.  I greeted them with a smile and welcomed them.  Internally I sighed a sigh of relief, let go of the plans I was unconsciously making with the anticipated free time and began the workshop.  

After the workshop I felt grateful that three individuals had taken time out of their day to experience this workshop.  I felt honored that they had given up 2 hours of their time to interact with me and learn about this new healing modality.  And then I paused as I heard my words:  ...honored that they had given up 2 hours of their time…  Hum.  Had they really given up their time?  That use of language gave a me a clue to an underlying belief that had driven my process of marketing for this workshop.  And, as you’ll read in a moment, this underlying belief attracted to me exactly what I had asked for.  

I’ve been an entrepreneur for the past twelve years.  I have had the privilege of buying (and selling) two small business, leasing the rights to operate one established business, and began three separate private practices in those twelve years.  What have I learned in all that time?  That Kevin Costner in his movie Field of Dreams made it sound way easier to bring a dream to fruition than it actually is.

The art of manifesting a dream or vision is more involved than just doing the external work that seems necessary.  It takes more than “just building” it.  For example, for my free workshop I did all of the following things:

*I created a two hour free introductory workshop
*I offered it on two different days at two different times
*I networked with an established wellness center who sent out a notice about this workshop to over 700 people two different times
*I emailed my small but growing database of interested people
*I posted flyers all over the place in three surrounding towns
*I talked to random people in coffee shops etc. about it

On the external it appears I did quite a bit to call participants into this workshop.  But the question I found I kept asking myself was this:  How willing was I to actually be seen in what I was offering?

Well, the amount of work I did to market and advertise this workshop would suggest I was quite ready to be seen.  And if I had stopped there with my reflection, I would have missed the bigger picture.  I would have missed the roadblock to my success.   So, leaning into my training, I took that inquiry into meditation.  What I found was an old familiar belief, a lie I have been telling myself since I could form conscious thought: My worth is only as good as others deem it to be.  

In the yogic tradition this kind of deep seated self defeating belief is known as a vikalpa - a false imagination that I believe and live my life from.  It is a belief we are born with that was generated from our past experiences (karma) and is with us in this incarnation to teach us.  My teacher, Rod Stryker, says that we are each born with 3 lies we will tell ourselves.  And becoming aware of even just one of them can have a lasting effect on the outcome of our lives.

When I believe this lie, that I am only worth what others deem, I make choices that have unconscious effects on my ability to manifest what I want to create.  I will attract to me the energy I put out.  And when I operate from this vikalpa, I am asking the universe to affirm this belief for me.  Hence, three people will show up and I can believe that my worth (and the worth of what I do with my life) is measured by that attendance.

What does this have to do with manifesting a vision, you may ask?  If I build it, they will come because all aspects of myself believe in it.  From my training with Phoenix Rising Yoga Therapy I have learned that I can’t control the outcome - I can only direct the process.   Outcomes happens as a result of more subtle influences (conscious, unconscious, mine and others) than I could even begin to wrap my head around.  The best I can do is what Krishna advises Arjuna to do in the Bhagavad Gita:  Act and let go of the fruits of your action.

Letting go of the fruits of my actions, however, does not mean that I am not engaged, curious and willing to learn from the fruits that appeared from my action.  The fruit of my action is what helps me learn more about the action itself.  What was driving it?  What desire (or attachment to a desire) created that action?  From what part of myself did that action derive from - one that is in alignment with my highest self?  Or one that came from fear, insecurity or other shadowed parts?

If I build it, they will come - to the extent that my actions are in alignment with my truth.  If my truth remains that I am only worth what others deem, then I will stay small in the fruits of my actions.  Even when the fruits grow, my self worth would be determined by others and while I might feel better about myself for awhile, it is in false pretense.  The most profound marketing and advertising work I can do is to learn to act from a belief in my own worth and value.

The next time you are building in your life - be it a relationship, a private practice, a yoga class or something else - pause a moment and consider the part of you that is acting.  See what happens if you take time to reflect on what you have built.  Maybe you too can discover one of the lies you tell yourself and use that knowledge to take actions that create more fulfilling fruits.

I have the privilege of working with a lot of yoga teachers.  And I have been on the journey of being a yoga teacher for many years now.  I often find a commonality amongst us teachers, especially as we begin our journey.  We tend to fall into the mind trap of having to be someone other than who we are.  We often feel like we need to project this image of “perfect” as if we have already attained the highest state of enlightenment, kaivalya, and show our students that we always live from it.  Guess what, yoga teachers?  We. Are. Human.  Yep, that’s right - totally, 100% human.  Which means that while we might have incredibly rich, deep and intimate experiences with our divine selves, it means that day to day, our human selves will want attention too.

Instead of deny, push away or belittle our human-ness, Phoenix Rising Yoga helps us learn to live authentic lives - to be who and where we are; in the process of  recognizing our oneness with the Divine.  Here are 5 tips that help me (and could help you) embrace the human side.

Tip # 1
Explore what makes you tick and chase after that.   To the extent you can, see what could happen if you were to let go of the idea or image of what and who a yoga teacher should be.  This is definitely not to say drop all ethics or give up on the image of what inspires you to be your best, but let go of someone else’s idea of how and who you should be as a yoga teacher.  

How do you find out what your own image of that is?  There are many ways!  Find what you love to do and do more of it.  Let your passion and desire for life guide you into the circumstances that will provide the mirror for you to learn more about who and what you are.     


Tip # 2
Spend time on your mat or cushion as often as you can.  Notice this doesn’t tell you how often that is.  So many times, as yoga teachers, we get caught up in a self-blame game of needing to do more: To practice more, to teach more, to be...more.  I’m pretty sure that the philosophy behind yoga, especially tantric yoga, speaks to us about recognizing the divinity in what already is.  There isn’t a lack of the Divine that we somehow have to generate more of, it is present and ready for us all of the time.  

If we always think we need to be more or do more, including our practice time, then how are we ever able to embrace what we are and what we are already doing?  When your heart prompts you to sit more, listen.  When your body asks for asana, provide it.  When you turn away from those messages, be curious about why.  When your mind berates you for not getting up early to practice, exert self-mastery over it and ask it to be quiet.  


Tip #3
Yoga is not about the postures you can do.  Yes, reaching back into full Eka Pada Rajakapotasana feels amazing - heart open, hips open, core strong, back and shoulders limber - but what have you really attained?  What is it you are really celebrating?  The perfect posture or the commitment experienced working towards the posture?

Patanjali writes about this kind of deep commitment to practice in the Yoga Sutras (1.12).  It’s called abhyasa.  Abhyasa is that fervor you feel for practice - that which brings you to your “mat” (aka, life) and keeps you coming back to it fully engaged.  It’s what keeps you committed even when it is challenging.  There is effort involved but not self-defeating force.  

When Patanjali speaks about practice, he probably isn’t even referring to asana.  In the practice of self-mastery, or knowing oneself so fully that you have control over your mind, practice takes many forms.  Asana is but one tool to help us learn about ourselves and the ways in which our minds approach our daily lives.


Tip #4
Keep your inner eye open.  I don’t mean your third eye - so that you can obliterate whatever you fix your gaze upon, like Shiva can.  I am referencing your own insight into your actions, reactions and choices.  (Which in some ways is obliterating the illusion around what you want to believe and “seeing” yourself more clearly…) As a yoga teacher you are developing and cultivating an ability for self-inquiry and this ability, or some might say special power, can provide you with amazing information about how to make different choices that are more in alignment with who you are efforting to become.  

Phoenix Rising Yoga is a style of yoga deeply seated in awakening our ability to use our bodies as metaphor for learning more about ourselves.  The next time you are in cobra, ask yourself, “What am I awakening to?”  And when you press back into child’s pose ask, “What do I close off from?”  Let your body answer and your mind listen.  If our subconscious really is held in our tissues, as many recent developments in anatomy and physiology are pointing towards (Cobb, Elissa. The Forgotten Body), then our subconscious (or body) has a whole lot to tell us about how we live our lives.


And finally, Tip #5
Laugh often.  Yes, I know - it is not very open ended of me to tell you to laugh often, however, yoga philosophy teaches us that life is one great and often ironic play called lela.  It is all tragic, it is all beautiful.  My first Phoenix Rising teacher, Karen Hasskarl, used to say that her most pivotal moment of transformation came the moment she could really laugh at herself.


When I strip away all my pretenses, all the shoulds, all the unworthiness I like to let myself believe - it’s really quite funny.  I am, after all, human, doing the very best I can moment by moment.  Yes, I may be a spiritual being, but I am having a human experience.  And as Emmanuel (channeled by Pat Rodegast) said, our spirits take form to play, to feel, to experience and to know.  So, if my mind is limiting me from letting my soul play - why not set that free with a laugh?   



Jennifer Munyer is the Director of Yoga Teacher Training for Phoenix Rising Yoga Therapy’s 200 and 500 hour programs.  Find out more about Phoenix Rising by visiting their website.  Or contact Jennifer to book a session today.

The cool water swam across my skin.  My legs and arms worked in unison to move me forward.  I listened to the silence beneath the water; to the sound of my breath every third stroke.  I fell into a regular rhythm of kick, stroke, breathe.  It felt much like it often does on my yoga mat.  I was in the midst of a moving meditation - a vinyasa of mindfully combining breath with movement.  It was peaceful and enjoyable and I was just with me…. Until a guy jumped into the next lane over. 

He began splashing around; kicking hard and strong.  He quickly caught up with my pace and past me.  All of a sudden I noticed my legs moving quicker, my arms pulling harder.  My peaceful every-third-breath turned into a rapid fire intake of air.  I felt myself both grimace and half smile as I began to catch up to the guy next door.  Then I stopped, and sucked in a bunch of water as I caught myself laughing at myself underwater.


Competition is healthy and I have learned much in my day from my competitive edge.  But I was amazed at how fast a behavior that I had received so much positive reinforcement from could sneak up on me so quickly.  Without even consciously thinking about it, there I was, positioned back into a state of mind that needed me to be better, swim harder, go faster and beat the stranger enjoying his daily swim next to me.  


I stood up in the pool and took a falling out breath - a deep breath in through my nose and exhaled out of my mouth.  I felt my shoulders soften and body grow less tense.  “Alright,” I thought to myself, “back to my peaceful swim where it’s just me and the water.”  Well, at least it lasted for a few seconds.


Because of the heat I had worked up in my unconscious effort to be better then the man swimming next to me, I had worked up a bit of a sweat (yes, this is possible in a pool!).  As I began to swim in the cool water again, my goggles began to fog up.  “Seriously?”  I said to myself.   Gone was the peaceful quiet time I had spent in the first few minutes of my swim.  Enter in frustration and annoyance.  I found myself stopping every couple of minutes to defog my goggles.  


Finally, some small voice whispered inside of me - “What’s happening now?”  


“What’s happening now is I can’t get my friggin’ goggles to stay clear so I can see where I am going!”  


That soft gentle voice chuckled at me.  Chuckled.  That just annoyed me more, so I pushed myself harder, my goggles got foggier and my frustration grew.  Again that voice whispered, “Tell me more…”  


“Fine!” I shouted at myself, “I’ll tell you more - I can’t see where I am going and it’s making me angry.”  Then I stopped and all got quiet as I said those words to myself again, “I can’t see where I am going and it’s making me angry.”  Hummm….


Phoenix Rising Yoga Therapy helped to train me to cultivate a state of mind that is curious, open-ended, explores the metaphorical and listens to the deeper meaning of what is being said.  When I heard myself say that I was getting angry because I couldn’t see where I was going, I realized that I wasn’t actually upset with the goggles fogging up.  Yes, it was annoying, but my reaction to it  was offering me a chance to see a larger picture.


If I can get that angry at not being able to see where I am going...in a pool...divided up by swimming lanes….with no where to stray…, then how scared and angry must I be in life when I can’t see where I am headed?  How annoyed and frustrated must I get when I am uncertain about which direction to take in life?  This was an ah-ha moment for me.  I realized that I was safe in that pool.  Despite my childhood fear of great white sharks swimming up from the deep end of the pool, I couldn’t have been in a more safe environment for my sight to be momentarily foggy.


So, I began to swim slower.  I stopped defogging my goggles and instead headed into the foggy future of my next stroke.  I chose to focus on the bottom of the pool beneath me (the present moment) - not trying to see ahead (future outcome).  I trusted that I was safe and able to follow an internal barometer that would let me know when to slow down because the wall was approaching.  I let myself experience the discomfort of annoyance and frustration.  And what I found underneath them, was fear.  And in that moment, as I envisioned a small scared girl uncertain about what her future held, my annoyance and frustration and fear slipped away.  I was left with compassion and empathy for that little girl.  And I knew I could help her heal the fear the past had instilled in her by letting her stay with this edge - this uncomfortable moment of re learning to trust that she is safe.


I was reminded of how I support my clients in a Phoenix Rising Yoga Therapy session.  It was not unlike this - except we are usually on a yoga mat and not underwater.  I get to witness clients approach strong emotions as their bodies are placed in postures that are new, different or slightly uncomfortable.  I have the honor of providing the safety that the swimming lanes provided me.  And I get to watch as these clients transform what no longer serves them into something that supports them.


What would you be able to see more clearly if you were supported with compassion and empathy while looking?  What hidden messages might your body have to share with you?  As scary as it might sometimes be to really listen to yourself, what beauty or healing might come from going into the fog?  What would it be like to listen to what Dori from Finding Nemo so innocently and profoundly said, “Just keep swimming…”


For more information about Phoenix Rising Yoga Therapy visit the Phoenix Rising Yoga Therapy website or for information on receiving a session call Jennifer today - 352-278-2308.


www.riverrocktherapeutics.com